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Post by Arashi on Mar 26, 2006 2:44:13 GMT -5
These are hilarious...XD
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Klyde
Full Member
[A:0]
Member is offline
WEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Posts: 200
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Post by Klyde on Mar 26, 2006 16:02:35 GMT -5
Yea ;D
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Post by RELLIK on Mar 28, 2006 12:27:18 GMT -5
dam nice update.
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Post by Sonic on Mar 29, 2006 11:55:16 GMT -5
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Post by Fusion on Mar 29, 2006 13:02:23 GMT -5
YTMND in all of it's glory isn't that much funny any more. Only Chuck Norris can be as funny as Chuck Norris, because if it were otherwise, Chuck Norris would have to roundhouse kick the funnier person to reclaim his throne.
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Post by Sonic on Mar 30, 2006 12:41:43 GMT -5
More Chuck Norris facts!!! www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page1.htmlMy personal fave: Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
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Post by Tony on Mar 30, 2006 12:48:27 GMT -5
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
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Post by Sonic on Mar 30, 2006 12:52:51 GMT -5
Another page! Wow theres like 9 pages holy crap... www.chucknorrisfacts.com/page2.htmlLmfao...Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. And...Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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Post by Tony on Mar 30, 2006 12:56:36 GMT -5
i use this site for all my Chuck Norris fact needs Chuck Norris is the only person in the world whose Windows never crashed. Even Bill Gates and his evil empire can't make a machine stop fearing Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the reason why Jared lost all of that weight. This is simply because Jared has been running from Chuck for years.
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Post by Sonic on Mar 30, 2006 13:09:39 GMT -5
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
Chuck Norris wipes his ass with chain mail and sandpaper.
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
There are no WMD in Iraq. Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
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Post by Fusion on Mar 30, 2006 13:12:03 GMT -5
If the Enterprise shot at Chuck Norris, the phasers would fly right back into their emitters, then the Enterprise's warp engines would suddenly activate and speed out of the sector.
Sonic only races Chuck Norris for one reason: The hope to get away as fast as possible.
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Post by Sonic on Mar 30, 2006 13:17:24 GMT -5
*gasp* I never run away from Chuck Norris! *sees Chuck Norris* Oh sh*t *runs*
A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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Post by Tony on Mar 30, 2006 14:44:44 GMT -5
Chuck Norris was advised by a guru that he would attain eternal happiness if he went 7 years without breaking necks. Chuck Norris snapped the guru's neck like a twig.
The recent tsunami that devastated Indonesia was not caused by an underwater earthquake as previously believed but rather was the tragic side-effect of Chuck Norris believing the "Indian Ocean" was actually made of Indians.
Chuck Norris once entered the national spelling bee on ESPN. When one of the kids asked the moderator to use an example of the the word "aikido" in a sentence, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the throat so he could no longer speak. He went on to eliminate every other participant in the same way until he won.
Chuck Norris solved a rubic's cube so fast someone watching exploded immediately.
Chuck Norris had sex with a Mack truck once, the result was Optimus Prime.
Christopher Reeves wasn't riding a horse when he was paralyzed. He tried to shake Chuck Norris' hand. The infusion of the Holy Ghost, Beard, and Chuck Norris Man Musk twisted Reeves' neck into numerous contortions until it snapped. Then Chuck transformed into a Black Stallion, carried him to the nearest hospital, and roundhouse kicked him into a dumpster because he wasn't really Superman
Only a Dragoon can defeat Chuck Norris.
The Numa Numa dance guy is forever in hiding, for Chuck Norris hates all who lipsync a foreign song. Chuck Norris also hates who believe that pink is the new black.
The Fire does not burn Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris burns The Fire.
If Chuck Norris sees his shadow on Groundhog Day, another species goes extinct.
Germans suffered 4 millon casualties during World War 2. 80% were roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris, the rest ate nails to avoid the suffering.
Chuck Norris can kill you just by thinking about you. When people die suddenly in their sleep, the medical term is "DBN" (Death By Norris).
The atomic bomb that hit Hiroshima was actually Chuck Norris's most severe and deadly martial arts move. That day he promised to never again do that move. A few days later it was confirmed Chuck Norris occasionally lies.
The most effective form of suicide known to man is to type "Chuck Norris" into Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky!".
Chuck Norris can turn lead into gold by simply staring at it causing the molecules to change and rearrange out of fear. He is the ultimate alchemist.
Chuck Norris' Greatest Hits contains no songs. The tracks are the sounds of Chuck beating the living crap out of various bad guys. Even the WAL~MART edited version has a parental advisiory. Track list: 1. Haymaker 2. Jab 3. Bone Cracking 4. 1:00 of Silence (Chuck Norris stares down a bad guy) 5. Oh, I Know You Did not Just Make a Rude Comment About My Beard. 6. Roundhouse - Movment I - Take This 7. Roundhouse - Movment II - And That 8. Roundhouse - Movment III - Trivette, Look Out 9. Roundhouse - Movment IV - Imminent Death 10. I Will not Hesitate to Smash a Chair Over Your Face 11. Random Nuclear Explosion (Previously unreleased, from upcoming movie "Walker, Texas Power Ranger")
Someone claimed that Chuck Norris facts suck. Nobody has heard from him since that.
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Post by Nightmare on Mar 30, 2006 20:06:20 GMT -5
*hates Chuck Norris*
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Post by Fusion on Mar 31, 2006 8:47:58 GMT -5
Nightmare is unable to take the shape of Chuck Norris, simply because Chuck's being just cannot be copied.
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