The Toy Show (TV-MA RATING)

[toykun]

'Ello and welcome to the Second Edition of "Inside Toy's Head", now with the spiffy title of "The Toy Show".


The spiffy titlecard

Due to the last edition of the somehow popular thread of my ramblings and odd bitchery, I feel that this time, I need to lay down ground rules.

• #1: This is my show. This is My opinions. This is not yours to rate, this is not yours to judge, and it is not yours for you to critique. If I want your opinion. I'LL ASK FOR IT.
  
• #2: This show is rated TV-MA: If you can't handle my language, then change the channel.
  
• #3: There will be no hate speechof the following groups: Minorities, Homosexuals, Non-Christian Religions, and Whatever group I feel should be protected.
  
• #4: If you can't handle what I have to say, then just leave.
  
• #5: There will be touchy subjects made and passed. If you have an open mind, you'll go with the flow.
  
• #6: If I have a problem, and I ask the viewers for advice, do it in a civil manner.
  
• #7: If I burnate someone here, it's full force. Don't piss me off.
  
• #8: I hold all rights to amend this list of rules for this thread.
  

ADDED: Stop Spamming in the Episode Thread. Debates Go Here Instead

[]TOY SHOW STAFF[]

Head Anchor: Toy
Co-Anchor: Paragon

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BANNED UNTIL PROVEN INTELLIGENT: FANWRITER, MODEL

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=NOTES=
3-16-06 : #1 changed at subtle request of Xero.
3-18-06: Added Ban List, Made separate thread for Debate.

~ Toy-Kun

[Vi2us]

Im very smart...

Ill leave when things get really crazy rofl.

[Xero Bloodline]

toykun said:

#1: This is my show. What I say, goes, unless I ask for Mod/Master of Stuff intervention. Nobody here under MOD/MoS rank may censor me.

I have a problem with this, namely cause this gives you the right to bypass certain forum rules, which you can't do. Forum rules, and more importantly the staff's rules, surpass anything you make for one little thread. If what you have to say can't abide by our guidlines, then either don't say it, or say it somewhere else.

[toykun]

(Warning: The content of this post is not made to offend anybody unless Toy goes out of his way to do it. which he really doubts he will. Do not do anything you see here at home. Fck the FCC)

"TOY SHOW! TOY SHOW! PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT! WHOOHOOHOOOHOO!"

What's Up, Toy here with yet another edition of.. wait. another? No this is our pilot episode!
I think.. ah who gives a damn!

Speaking of giving..

On wednesday I was walking down the street towards Diamond Plaza and to my mom's office and what did i notice upon the ground but $5. Kinda lucky huh? No not really.

Turns out Mom needed $5 for gas. But what the hey. Ya win some, ya lose some.
Kinda like how all of a sudden you're feeling really great and then Majeh throws you into the 'chipper.

But all that Bullshyt aside, it's time for latest updates:

John Couey, sentenced to death for killing a 9 year old girl.
My verdict: mutilate him savagely. My stances on rape and child abuse are firm, and it's make sure it doesn't happen in the first place.

::Shuffles Papers::

Anna Nicole Smith Movie In the works. sources (CNN) say Producer Jack Nasser of All-Media Productions told CNN on Friday that his company is in the process of casting the lead role in the film, which could be released as early as June. Nasser said the film will cover Smith's life from from age 17 until her death last month at 39, including her marriage to billionaire J. Howard Marshall and the death of her son Daniel.

Toy's Verdict: WHAT THE KCUF IS WITH YOU GOD DAMN PEOPLE?! SHE JUST DIED. GIVE THAT POOR WOMAN A REST. WE KNOW SHE HAD A TRAGIC LIFE. WE KNOW SHE FOUGHT FOR HERSELF. BUT DAMNED BE THE MINUTE THEY DON'T LET THAT SOUL REST! Good god.

::Pissed, Shuffles papers::

To-Be Husband slain morning of wedding: Link to story
Toy's Verdict: A sad day for both of those families. Personally I'd shoot the bastards 50 times a pop just to avenge that man.

::Shuffles Papers::

In local News, Fanwriter's continued use of "rating system" causes unrest among senior ZV Spriters.
Local resident Bloodbane remarked: "He said MoX's scratch sprite was well done for his level. What level? MoX's sprites kick ass."
A similar complaint was issued from other members of the #ZeroVirus Channel.

Local hoodlum and exile Model has been seen wandering the Pointless Thread still proclaiming his innocence. Experts say that, "He's a Liar, a Proven Liar, and a Theif. Banned." Whether this is an outbreak of the Nightmare Phenomenon, a simple ghost, or local Law Enforcement has decided to reinstitute Model has not yet been disclosed.

::Looks at the clock:: Well damn. I'm out of time folks. Until next time, ZVers. Party on.

<Director> aaaaaannnnnd cut!
<Toy-Kun> Well that was remarkably horrific. Someone get me my agent. we need more comedy segments...

-TV fuzzes out-

[Peytral]

*Peytral claps loudly* "Woot! That rocked! If this show ever gets cancelled then I'll shoot the person who cancelled it! In fact that's what I'm gonna save my thermite Grenade for!"

Lol I had to do that in RP form. That was frickin sweet though.

[Professor Fann]

Hurray! I wish to cheer for you too! Those talk are splendidly transparent and impressive!

[Andrew]

*blinks* Man, you should have included my comment in there.

But whatever, maybe next time, eh?

~Paragon

[SLA¥ΣR]

That was cool and interesting to read

[toykun]

(Warning: The content of this post is not made to offend anybody unless Toy goes out of his way to do it. which he really doubts he will. Do not do anything you see here at home.Fck the FCC)

"TOY SHOW! TOY SHOW! PARTY TIME! EXCELLENT! WHOOWHOOWHOOWHOO!"

Welcome Back to The Toy Show. I almost didn't think you'd watch this travesty again. <audience laughs>

Tonight I've got great news. We have a new cast member! Give it up for our Co-Anchor Paragon!

<Crowd goes wild. Paragon struts out all pimpishly and takes his seat.>

<Toy> Oh snap. Two crazy jackasses in the same room. This is gonna get interesting.

<Paragon> Indeed it is Toy. We've got a hell of a show lined up tonight. And we Actually CUT INTO THE BUDGET.

<Toy> For what?
<Paragon> For this. *Fireballs Steve, the sound guy*

<Steve> AAAAAGHHH!! -burnated-
<Toy> Owch! I even felt that! But now, folks it's time for The Cracked News.



<Paragon> In the latest news, we've gotten word that Nightmare is/was part of the infamous Ass Pirate clan. Due to recent events involing pigs, we've discovered that Nightmare was a rare breed of Ass Pirate that didn't lust for llama booty, but rather.. Pork booty. Local residents of the chat were not surprised by this information in the least bit. Might there be a conspiracy within the highest ranks of power of the ZV? Not likely, it just looks to me like Nightmare likes ham a little bit too much.

<The crowd is cracking up so hard, some people are spraying booze from their noses.>

<Toy> ..We're gonna get sued. I know it. I just know it.
<Paragon> Could be worse. It could be worse.

<Toy> Worse like Fanwriter?? Oh my god. Paragon have you seen this kid?!
<Paragon> Don't remind me!
<Toy> Well, The Fanwriter Rating System BS is hitting ZeroVirus like last night's booze binge! It's hitting so hard It's already being lambasted like a red headed stepchild! <Crowd laughs>

[Footage of the Jokes in 8th Pointless]

<Toy> Ow! Bytch-Slapped like a mofo! It's a bombardment of nonsubtle cracks at this kid! It's gender bending all over again. Tea and Biscuits! Good god who mentioned that?!
<Paragon> That was you Toy.
<Toy> *Cracks Paragon with his coffee mug*
<Paragon> OW!!

<Crowd Laughs>

<Toy> Oh hell, He's going after Reaver!
<Paragon> Reaver winds up, Here comes the Wireless Keyboard! and CHOKED!
<Toy> That kid got put down like a Thai hooker!
<Paragon> It'd be worse if he comes near my stuff. I swear to god I'll break him.. I hope that last little tidbit whet your appetite because this is only the beginning.

My top story for today concerns two of our dearly beloved moderators. *grins* To be specific, our purple man of goo and our homocidal red Reploid, respectively known as Nightmare and Majeh. To be completely honest with you, I never expected Nightmare to find someone so special to him that he would consider marrying them, but Majeh has filled that hole in Nightmare's heart. The two were wed last night and have yet to have a divorce. Maybe it'll last? Some can only hope.

<Toy> Those Two? Please tell me you're lying. Majeh would kill him the first night.
<Paragon> So it would seem. So. It. Would. Seem.

<Toy> Seeming like the massive influx of HAM? You know I've always thought if we killed Vilex it would end. apparantly we need an equal amount of HAG to counter it. Kinda like this massive influx of FF11 geeks. I blame DRKs, DRGs, and Bastok.

<Stage Hand> BASTOK SUCKS!!!
<Paragon> *Shoots Random* PIPE DOWN BACK THERE! MORE COFFEE!
<Toy> Woah woah hold the presses people. Breaking news. The Jif Factory is going on strike! Apparantly Xero has been stockpiling the peanut butter supply and the workers are demanding their wages again!
<Paragon> Hell with them. Ever since Xero bought out the Peanut Butter Industry we enslaved those workers. They don't deserve anything more thant he glory to make Peanut Butter. A Holy Food.

<Crowd goes "HELL YEA!!">

*BUZZER!!!!!!!*

<Toy> Oh Snap. We're out of time for tonight. Tune in tomorrow for the next installation.
<Paragon> The Toy Show: Bringing home the Bullshyt.

<Director> AND THAT'S A WRAP PEOPLE!
<Paragon> We need babes on this show.
<Toy> I dunno can we do that? I mean The Man Show already has a monopoly over the Juggies.

::TV fizzles out::

[SLA¥ΣR]

I know you don't really mean any harm (unless well, you do) but Nightmare and Majeh are gonna kill you

[Peytral]

I laughed my ass off over that.

[Professor Fann]

An honest way of expressing thoughts. Could have been offending, but the explicit warning melts that away. Just so you know, the Rating System has already been embraced by Xero Bloodline and it's here to stay for the better lot.

[Andrew]

What's your point, FW? I don't care if Xero has decided to change his name to Christian and embrace Hinduism. That doesn't mean we're all going to drop to our knees as well and start following his behaviour.

We're all individuals with our own opinions, and not all of us are going to embrace your idiotic rating system. So hey, if you want to go rate something, go right ahead. Just keep it away from anything I happen to do, because I think your system is total bs. Kay? Alrighty, glad we got that covered.

~Paragon

[Vi2us]

I laughed hard for all that.

Its 100% true man...

And paragon.

Amen..

[Professor Fann]

Harsh words, mister paragon. Plain too harsh. I'm afraid I cannot accept your advice although it's just your point of view. But still, the System will stay, never leave.

I'm done here. I await more ranting of the Toy Show.