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Post by Nightmare on Jun 25, 2013 0:18:40 GMT -5
Hello everyone! As many of you surely remember, the event for the 2013 Carnival featured a unique "Choose your own adventure" styled story that evolved for both teams depending on what both sides picked. Many of you found this to be really entertaining, but there were a lot of strange and silly occurances in both stories, as well as some unanswered questions. Well to get the full picture you may have had to read both side's stories! So now that the Carnival is over, I'm going to post all the adventure entries for both teams. I suggest giving your team's adventure one more read over before going over the other guys'. I'm sure it'll be both revealing and funny. I'll post the prologue here, and in the following two posts I'll include the Beerarium's and the Vigilante Gents' stories. Enjoy! Duels and Damnation: Prologue"The world of ZV has evolved into a civilized, peaceful place since the incident in which the intoxicated warlords known only as the "Headhunters" pillaged themselves into extinction after coming to the realization that their own heads contained skulls.
Among the many strong factions in ZV's society, one was an organization called "The Beerarium." The Beerarium were originally a group dedicated to the treatment of CCD (colony collapse disorder, for those of you who don't appreciate bees the way these guys do) for the betterment of bee-kind. Over the years they've grown in size and influence, now maintaining a monopoly on all things bee! Bee honey, bee venom, bee suits, bee merchandise, bee cereal, the letter "B", and much more!
In one of many routine bee-related research kicks, The Beerarium discovered a shocking drop in the bee population in just a short amount of time. Concerned, they began investigating...
...Which brings us to another powerful faction in ZV's society today. An underground but influential group no less, there exists a special kind of club in a particularly dapper district in the great land of ZV. A club for gentlemen. Of a particular vigilante variety.
The Vigilante Gents are a group of classy, crime-fighting fellows united under four things: Truth, Justice, unsweetened tea, and... A firey disdain for bees.
Though originally unintentional, the Gents have become united under their leader's vengeful hatred of bees after a mistaken pinata accident caused the stinging to death of his parents when he was but a lad. Each have their own reasons for disliking bees, and they've recently embarked on a mission to eradicate the vicious insects once and for all!
Since this discovery, The Beerarium and the Vigilante Gents have been battling each other metaphorically in their causes; The Beerarium doing all in it's power to reenergize the bee population, while the Gents desperately try to wipe them out. Until one fateful day, where the two organizations would instead battle each other for real!
The leader of the Gents, the Exterminator, arrived at the corporate headquarters of The Beerarium, and delt him a fierce blow right across the face with a white glove! The name of the game was a duel at the ZV Colosseum; winner determines the fate of bees everywhere. Unable to pass up an opportunity to not only save some bees, but take out the greatest obstacle to their goals, The Beerarium accepted.
Now we join The Beerarium and The Vigilante Gents as they prepare themselves to battle each other and complete vigorous tests to determine who the better man truly is!
Will you fight to save bees and their delicious honey? Or rage on to wipe out bees and their nasty stingers? Join us for Zero Virus' Duels and Damnation event to see how this plays out!" |
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Post by Nightmare on Jun 25, 2013 0:19:02 GMT -5
The Beerarium: Chapter 1" You are the President of the massive bee-friendly corporation, The Beerarium. You have just been slapped by a white glove wielded by an exceedingly British man in a cape. You find this turn of events most unusual.
The man is the leader of a crime fighting squad (or crime CAUSING squad, as you like to think of it) called the Vigilante Gents. You've quite familiar with these fellows as you've done your homework and have deduced that these bee-hating, tea-sipping bastards have been murdering helpless bees all over the country-side.
The man issues a challenge; that the Beerarium meet them in the ZV Colosseum and compete in a series of challenges. You figured you would probably just shoot him because that seems to be what classy fellows do, but these dudes aren't so classy after all you guess.
You accept the duel, not seeing any other choice. It's imperative that you kick these guys' asses, and if you can do it in a Colosseum and maybe win the hearts of a few babes in the process, well hey what the hell.
You instantly shame yourself for that thought. Your love affair is with bees and bees alone.
The Gent turns to leave your office after issuing his challenge and you sit pondering for several moments what you should do next. The Gent opens your door to storm out and you call out to him. He turns around, raising his eyebrow in intrigue..." You tell him...
A) That you don't want any trouble, and offer him a cash settlement so you don't have to take this to (violence) court.
B) That he's a jerk and throw your paperweight at his stupid head.[1]
C) That your gift shop is having a sale on Bee-Shirts, and try and persuade him to buy some.
D) Nevermind, then get up and go downstairs to that sandwich cart.[2]
Challenges " The Gent stops and turns to face you as you call out to him. You get a look at this stupid, British, Bee-hating face and are instantly filled with disgust. Without even thinking, you pitch your paperweight through the air and nail him right between the eyes.
The Gent plummets to the ground. Whoah Nelly was that empowering. You've never felt more alive! That guy was bullying you and you stepped up and fought back, you stuck up for yourself and oh God oh God he's getting up you are so screwed oh God.
The Gent rises to his feet, rubbing his head in a daze. You panic. What if he sues? Or what if his posse comes and jumps you on your way to your car? No wait. Wait stop it. You are not some sissy-man. You take a deep breath and clear your head. You did it for the bees. It was worth it. No matter what comes next, it was worth it.
The Gent slurs out some words that sound kind of offended, and he storms off. Wow, that went way better than expected. You feel pretty big now, actually. Throwing that paperweight was probably the best decision you've ever made in your life.
Is what you thought until a gentle breeze gusted by and swept some very important paperwork out the open window.
God. Damnit." You then...
A) Dive out the window after your papers!
B) Run out the door and downstairs to see if you can find where your papers landed.
C) Double check your files to make sure you actually need those papers.
D) Throw your hands up in the air and party! " You watch your presumably very important documents blow out the window. Son of a...
You cut yourself off. No need getting angry just yet. You didn't actually see what blew out the window, it may not be that big a deal after all. Maybe you ought to look at what you actually still have and deduce what you're missing before doing something insane and diving out the window after them.
You suppress the urge to party instead of completing your work as you get up and shuffle over to your stack of papers on your desk. Whoah Nelly is this a messy desk. You make a mental note to clean off your desk later. This might take awhile.
Let's see here you find your shopping list. You guess that'd be too good to be true if that's all you lost (but then again you'd be pretty devastated if you forgot to pick up food for your cat, Jim.) Awwwh Jimmy who's a fluffy kitty? You are! You are! Yes you are daddy's glad he didn't lose his reminder to get your food yes he issss!
You grimace at the thought of somebody reading your thoughts right now. That'd make things kind of awkward. You shake your head as you focus and get back to work.
Hmmm... You find your Bee Merchandise sales records. High, of course. You find your list of favorite bee farms. The certificate of authenticity for your solid gold Bee is here. What could you have lost?
Wait. Waaaaaaaiiitttt. Oh God. You dig around looking for the map you made to your hidden Bee treasure. Aaawwww hell where is it?
You slowly walk over to the open window and peer outside. You see a piece of paper on the ground down below, as well as the Gent you just chased out stumbling onto the street. The Gent looks over at the paper." You then...
A) Wait to see what the Gent will do.
B) Find something else to throw down at the Gent.[1]
C) Run out the door and downstairs to retrieve the paper.
D) Try and draw up a new map from memory.[2]
Challenges
"You stare out your window, down at the piece of paper now laying in the street. You can't help but feel kind of dumb that your treasure map is out in the middle of the street where anybody could find it.
You consider going down and getting the piece of paper, but even if that Gent down there didn't take it, it'd surely be blown away by the wind by the time you got down there. And you don't really want to spend all day trying to find that dumb thing. You're a president, you've got more important matters to attend to.
Still though, you would hate to forget where your treasure is. You figure you may as well draw up another one. You grab a piece of paper from your stack of worn, old-looking paper for when you wanna be especially fancy. You begin doodling on it. You were pretty sure there was a tree there, there was a dark cave, you remembered to put it away from those bee-hating bastards... Hmmm... Can't remember if you had a dragon guard this area, or a swarm of bees. Maybe you should have had both put there for good measure. Or better yet, a bee dragon of some sort. Do we have those yet? You should get on that...
You draw up this masterpiece of a map and look over it. Holy hell look at this beautiful thing. All from memory, too. Man you are so awesome. What do you even NEED this map for anyway? You've got this. You've got this so bad. You shred the map and toss it to the wind. The location is safer being dedicated to memory anyway.
You go over to your desk and buzz your secretary in. She responds that she'll be right there, calling you "sir" and everything. Yeah that's cause you're the boss. Who's the man? You are.
Heh. "Buzz". You just got that. You make a mental note to have all the intercoms formally named "buzzers".
Your secretary comes in wearing this cute little bee outfit. Aaaaawwwwh yeeeeaaah you are so happy you made that call on the uniforms. You don't regret it one bit. Yeah baby look at those stripes. You know bees communicate through dance don't you girl? Yeah you do. Shake that stinger, shake it. Talk to me baby. Yeah you'd like to pollinate that beehind, yeah you would.
You get ahold of yourself. You shouldn't let so many impure thoughts pour into your head at once. Your mother raised you better than that. You would have to marry her first. She's nice enough, you guess. Pretty too. You think that you two might actually make a nice couple. Your kids would be pretty definitely. We'd have a wedding outside the hive, honey flavored cake. The kids would be named Buzz and Beeatrice. They'll grow up to run the corporation after you're old and frail. You've always wondered who would take on your work. But moving in might be kind of awkward, Jim hates new people. And you and Jim have been together way too long to betray him by bringing another person into his life he doesn't want.
You slap yourself on the cheek as you regain your senses and focus. Man where did all that even come from? Where were you... Right, hot secretary."You turn to your secretary and...
A) Ask her to bring you a sandwich from the sandwich cart downstairs.[1]
B) Tell her to call a senior staff meeting so you can meet with your cohorts.
C) Ask her to show you how bees talk.
D) Tell her to cancel all your appointments, because you've got a bloodbath to attend.
Challenges
The Beerarium: Chapter 5" You look to your hot, bee-clad secretary and suppress all of your lustful urges. Being the president of a corporation with a mission as important as yours requires some dedication and unfortunately some sacrifices. You're in the midst of a war, sinking your stinger into that sweet honey will have to wait while you attend to some very serious business.
You very professionally give your secretary the order to assemble your senior staff for an emergency meeting. Some very serious business has just ensued, as your top CEOs you feel it important that they be brought in on this.
Your secretary happily obliges, hurriedly shuffling out of the room. You lock your eyes onto that black and yellow booty as she leaves the room. You feel a little bad but quickly excuse yourself. You're only human, you guess.
Within minutes you're in your meeting room, joined by your top CEOs: Vice President Finch Collins, Hill Richards from sales, and your two favorite CEOs Oliver Jefferson and Buzz Andrews. Well you don't actually care that much for Andrews personally (despite his endearing name), but hot damn if he doesn't get the job done.
The five of you sit around your big table and discuss the events that have just unfolded. Jefferson was not surprised that the Gents made a move against us, as it was only a matter of time. Collins was a little surprised you actually threw a paperweight at the guy-- he didn't think you had it in you. Richards thinks that you should start mobilizing forces toward the Colosseum immediately, and particularly likes your Bee Dragon concept. Richards has always been kind of hot blooded. You're kind of hoping he was joking when he said he would phone in the Bee Dragon idea. You have no idea what that guy would do if he had that kind of power. Andrews on the other hand was more concerned about the relationship status of your hot secretary. God damnit Andrews, you hate him so much. But you would never fire him, you respect his work too much. The bastard.
After the briefing, you stress how important it is that you not have to do this stuff yourself, because you're the president. As previously noted, you have much more important matters to attend to. You call on your senior staff for one of them to spearhead this job-- that is to bring down the Vigilante Gents. Your staff all seem eager to fix this problem in their own ways. Asking was more of a formality, really, because to you the choice was obvious." Leaving this job in his hands, you then...
A) Be Vice President Collins
B) Be Richards from Sales
C) Be CEO Jefferson
D) Be CEO Andrews " You are now Hill Richards, Cheif Sales Rep at the bee-friendly Beerarium Corporation.
You really really hoped you would get picked for this job, but honestly you figured you were the last guy on the list. You're not as negotiable as the meek Vice President Collins. You're not as Charismatic as the steadfast Oliver Jefferson. And you're not as cunning as the manipulative Buzz Andrews. But you have two things that all those guys don't: A stockpile of bee-themed weaponry, and sociopathic tendencies!
At least that's what the leprechaun keeps telling you.
You've worked at the Beerarium corporation longer than most of the senior staff, but have never received as much notoriety for your work. You think this may be the president's way of testing if you're worth keeping around. You are completely dedicated to your job and intend to show him you've got this.
As soon as you've finished rubbing your getting picked in the others' faces, you use your newfound authority to force Andrews to fork over a few of his bouncers he uses to keep the peace at the Beerarium owned night club "The Bombus." Andrews doesn't want to comply, but he kind of has to because you're the boss on this job. You've waited most of your career to make this guy do what you say.
You make off with the Bee-Clad bouncers and take to the streets. You need some muscle if you want to get anything done. You DO have those bee-themed weapons, you guess. But you figure you should save killing people as a last resort in this situation. You're trying to make a good impression, after all.
Besides the bee-themed weapons should probably be kept under wraps anyway. The president may be a little mad if he finds out you've been outsourcing bee merchandising projects to militant organizations to create weapons instead of Bee-Shirts. Don't worry you won't keep it under wraps forever, this war you're about to lead the fight in is the moment you've been waiting for, and will justify all that paranoid schizophrenia that lead to the production of all those weapons.
You immediately get down to business. If you wanna make a good first impression you'd best get something done quickly and efficiently. First off you start tracking that misplaced map. It blew out the window, and judging from all the neurotic wind pattern analysis you did on your way to procure your bouncers, you think you've pinpointed where it may have ended up.
You arrive in the local park, where you find a strange-looking older man with a big mustache holding what you believe is your boss' map. You waste no time having your boys here knock him to the ground, where you retrieve the paper. Ah ha! You've found it alright. Look at this beautiful thing. Anyone with this would know where all the bee-treasure was. That would be bad in the wrong hands.
You lose yourself looking over the map, scanning over it so that you too may memorize it and be able to draw it from memory just in case. While you're doing this though, you're approached by an odd fellow. He was wearing a yellow jacket and striped shirt, adorned with bees though, so he was alright in your book. Most likely one of your many underlings. You didn't recognize him though, and you were pretty sure you would remember a mustache that big, full, and classy...
Your new buzzing brother says that he's glad he found you, and that he wanted to do anything he could to help you beat up those dastardly gents. Being the paranoid schizophrenic with sociopathic tendencies that you are, you're naturally suspicious of this dude. But maybe that's just the paranoid schizophrenia talking. " You look to the dude and...
A) Tell him to buzz off
B) Become a dinosaur and eat him
C) Have your boys here seize him
D) Bring him along but have the leprechaun keep an eye on him " You ask who this guy actually is. He stammers for a bit before proudly telling you his name was 'Beenedict Arnold'. You think this whole thing is starting to sound fishy. You turn to your shoulder-mounted leprechaun and ask what he thinks. He shares your sentiments and thinks the dude is shady as hell.
You give Beenedict here a look, but you decide to see what his angle is. Would be a shame if you stung him preemptively and he turned out to just be one of your biggest fans or something.
You watch the guy carefully as he starts acting all nice-like with you. What is even his deal? He starts asking you about yourself. Obviously he's not one of your fans if he doesn't know you. You humor him a little bit longer.
Before long the guy started getting nosy about what you were doing out here. You draw the line there, this guy is obviously up to something. For once all the voices in your head agree on something.
With a snap of your fingers, your boys here grab the dude, restraining each arm. At first he acted confused, but then started struggling something fierce. You were so distracted watching him you almost didn't even see the other guy coming. It was the older guy you took the map from earlier. What was he doing here? Maybe this was his doing. You don't really care honestly, you're getting kind of sick of these shenanigans.
You reach into your jacket pocket and reveal a large, clunky yellow and black striped gun you like to call your 'Stinger'. The leprechaun laughs at you and says it looks more like a hair dryer. You tell him it's not a hair dryer it's an awesome gun. He reiterates that it looks like a hair dryer. You tell him to shut up. You're an important man now, you don't need to take that from him. After you're done arguing with what you realistically assume is probably a figment of your psychosis, you shoot the older dude in the gut.
Your friend there Beenedict looses his mind, shouting the typical 'NOOOOOOO' nonsense like he's in a movie or something. The leprechaun tells you you probably shouldn't have killed him. You ignore him because you know you didn't actually kill him. This thing is a tranquilizer gun that shoots stinger-shaped darts. You find it to be a pretty nifty, nonlethal solution to all your stinging needs.
You look over and find Beenedict starting to break loose from your boys' hold. You opt to stop this before it becomes too problematic and shoot him as well. That sure calmed him down. You walks up and pull that silly-looking hat off. You knew you recognized that mustache from somewhere. This guy is one of those bee-hating gents." With the Gent now apprehended, you...
A) Opt to kill him.
B) Take the map and leave the Gent unconscious in the park.
C) Bring the Gent with you as a prisoner.
D) Try to convince the Gent to join you. " You watch at the Gent struggles to remain conscious. He spouts some drivel about how you haven't seen the last of the Vigilante Gents and how they're gonna get you or something like that. You find it pretty dumb, and decide to kick him in the ribs. Getting real tired of this nonsense.
You order your boys to drop the unconscious fool to the ground as you fold up your treasure map and pocket it. You consider killing the Gent or maybe dragging him along and keeping him as a hostage or something, but you're kind of serious about not killing anyone. Yet, anyway. And honestly you don't really wanna be responsible for this dude. You need your muscle here for important stuff like hassling troublemakers, you don't have the manpower to keep this guy restrained and guarded 24/7.
You and your posse leave the unconscious Gent in the park next to his little friend. You've got your map, what more do you need? You get in your very very spiffy bee-themed vehicle and take off. You start thinking about your next course of action. You decide that you really should call in that Bee-Dragon idea. You feel it was an excellent concept that would make great for the destruction of the Vigilante Gents. You pull out your phone and call up your old pal Dr.Verne, who is head of the company currently developing such awesome bee-themed weapons as 'the Stinger', 'the Buzzkill', and 'the Honeytomb'.
Dr.Verne answers and you get right down to business. You tell him you want him to genetically engineer you bee dragons. He says that's a dumb idea. You tell him no it's actually a really really awesome idea. He insists it's dumb. You tell him you're getting tired of his lack of trust. Verne asks when you plan to pay for the other bee-themed weapons you've commissioned. You tell him you're good for it and ask him not to be that guy. He's not buying it. You tell him that the president has put you in charge of crushing the Vigilante Gents ever since they challenged the Beerarium to a duel. He's now intrigued.
You explain that the Bee-Themed weapon business is about to boom and he'll make all kinds of money. But that you still want that Bee Dragon. He asks once again how you plan on paying for it. You sigh. You guess you've got no choice. You tell him you've got in your pocket a treasure map marking the location of all kinds of awesome bee treasure and you'll give it to him in exchange for your bee dragon. He's skeptical, but he agrees to do it. You then make arrangements for getting your bee dragon. Awesome.
You hang up the phone and smile victoriously. The leprechaun tells you it probably isn't okay to give the president's treasure to this guy. You ignore his warnings. You figure treasure isn't worth anything if we're all destroyed by the Vigilante Gents. The leprechaun asks if the president will still find you in his good graces if you pull this stunt. You tell him you don't really care. You figure with all your hard work you deserve some recognition. And besides, you're the one with the bee dragon. If he has any problems with how you operate he can take it up with your bee dragon.
You think that mutiny is probably something you shouldn't be thinking about at such a crucial time. But you also think it's wise to consider all the possibilities.
Due to Verne's expertise in Ultra Science, your Bee Dragon should be done by the end of the day. You're really, really glad they invented Ultra Science. It's way cooler than regular science, and exponentially more efficient. You're actually kind of excited to see your bee dragon. You can't wait, in fact." On your way to the lab to pick up your Bee Dragon, you...
A) Feed your mutinous thoughts.
B) Run over some pedestrians.
C) Think of a name for your Bee Dragon.[1]
D) Listen to the radio quietly.
Challenges
" You enjoy your serene drive to Dr.Verne's lab to collect your super awesome Bee Dragon. You once again praise the existence of Ultra Science.
You pass the time by thinking of what you'll call the big guy. A few different names come to mind. Reginald Stingington III? No that's dumb. That's like what a Gent would name him. This dude is gonna be a lean, mean, Gent Stingin' machine. Maybe Buzzy? That's kind of clever. The leprechaun says that's a bad name because it's too cute. You guess Spiffy is out then? He nods and says Spiffy is out. Damn, you kind of liked that one.
Ahhh, how about King Stinger? Like if the Queen Bee is the mother of all bees, then the King Bee would be the abusive father that came home drunk every night and beat you for no reason of all bees. And with a name like "Stinger" nobody is gonna mess with him. He will be the coolest bee dragon ever and you are gonna kill SO many Gents with him. You can hardly wait.
You pull up to the lab and can hardly wait to get out and run up to the door. You knock excessively. Dr.Verne opens the door and you can hardly contain yourself, you just burst in. Verne seems kind of mad, but you assume he understands. How can you NOT be excited to see your bee dragon? Verne asks you for the map. You tell him not until you see your bee dragon. He tells you you can only see the dragon after you hand over the map. You correct him "BEE dragon." He rubs is forehead in aggravation. You tell him no map til you see some bee dragon. He sighs and agrees.
Verne leads you into a huge chamber deep in the lab where lo and behold, you see a huge, huge Bee Dragon in a cage! Holy mackerel, it's everything you ever dreamed of. This is amazing. You are so happy with this. So happy you would give Verne anything he wanted to get that Bee Dragon. And you mean anything.
Verne asks you to hand over the map. You say you wanna take him for a spin. Verne asks what do you mean you wanna take him for a spin. You say you wanna see the bee dragon do stuff. He says to hand over the map and you can do whatever you want with the bee dragon. You say you can't pay him til you're sure the bee dragon does cool things. He sighs and rubs his forehead with aggravation once more. He points out a huge collar around the neck of the bee dragon, who you will now appropriately refer to as King Stinger from now on. Verne explains that with the remote control he's holding he can keep King Stinger in check, and that the remote can be all yours if you hand over the map.
You once again reiterate that you wanna see King Stinger do something cool. Honestly all this NOT seeing King Stinger do cool stuff is starting to make you a LITTLE suspicious. If you don't see King Stinger do something cool real quick here you may need to resort to a little backstabbing.
Verne finally agrees, and pulls a lever that opens King Stinger's cage. Whoah he's awesome. King Stinger walks out and looks around, before letting out a fearsome roar. You've never been so excited and terrified in your life. It's awesome.
Verne once again demands the map. You reach into your coat to retrieve it. But it's at this point you realize that the only thing cooler than having a Bee Dragon would be having a Bee Dragon AND countless bee-themed riches. So instead, you pull out your Stinger and take aim at Verne. Verne says you're stupid as hell. The leprechaun agrees. Hey wait come on the leprechaun is supposed to be on your side. You ask him what the hell. He says you just pulled a gun on a guy with a remote control to a gigantic Goddamn bee dragon. You guess he has a point.
You quickly raise your gun and apologize, telling Verne you don't know what came over you. He gives you a dirty look. You've got a bad feeling about this. He beckons with his hand. You guess you oughtta give him the map now. You reach into your pocket and pull out the folded up map. He asks that you toss it to him. You comply, and he thanks you. Wow, that went better than expected.
Is what you thought until you looked up, only to find yourself pelted by an encroaching, hot, honey-scented breath. The last thing you hear before being enveloped by the massive maw was the leprechaun tauntingly saying "I told you so."
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You are now President Harvey Anthony, previously unnamed but now finally revealed head of the massive Bee-Friendly corporation, The Beerarium. You have been waiting in your office for awhile now. Richards from sales was supposed to be here OVER AN HOUR AGO to give you his report. You are starting to get a little miffed.
You sigh. You knew in the back of your mind that Richards was a bad choice for this. He just was way too hot-headed and a little too schizophrenic for your liking. You only kept him around as a sales rep because he was damn good at selling things. All he needed was to pitch the name of a product with a big smile and people couldn't help but give him their money. You thought that with all his paranoia and sociopathic tendencies though that this job would be his time to shine and prove to you he was something more. You guess you gave him too much credit.
You buzz (heh) your secretary (awwh yeeeaah) into your office. She comes immediately. You ask her to get Collins, Jefferson, and Andrews in a conference call for you. She smiles a little and asks if you said Buzz Andrews. You nod and confirm that you did. She asks you if he's single or what. You tell her to quit screwing around and get them on call already. She winces and apologizes, and assures you she'll get right on it as she runs out the door. God damnit you hate Andrews so much.
You pick up your phone and now are in a four-way call with Vice President Collins and your two favorite CEOs Jefferson and (SIGH) Andrews. You ask them if either of them has seen Richards. Collins is confused and says he thought Richards was meeting with you right now. You say he was supposed to. Jefferson says that Richards took a company car and has yet to return it. You frown. Andrews says the muscle he lent Richards were supposed to be at work an hour ago and neither have shown up, nor has he been able to get in touch with them.
You sigh loudly. What is even that guy's problem? Has he gone AWOL or something? This is the last time you trust him with anything important. You ask the other guys if any of them have any ideas what to do about the Gent problem. Andrews says that if you wanted his opinion on that you'd have given him the job in the first place instead of Richards. Getting real tired of this guy's sh*t.
Jefferson says that he's got some ideas, but before he could finish his sentence, Collins interrupts frantically. You ask Collins what his deal is. Collins says you had better turn on the news. You say you don't have a TV in your office. Collins suggests that looking out the window will suffice. You sigh, what could he be going on about this time?
You get up and look out your window, and are a little surprised to say the least. You look out to find a gigantic, monster bee dragon thing attacking the city. You wonder how it took you this long to notice something like that. Jefferson and Andrews are equally shocked when they see it. You guess this is kind of cool, you mean he IS a huge, awesome bee. But he is kind of wrecking the city, you guess. Jefferson suggests that you send men out to stop the bee. You ask if he means kill it. He says it'd be preferable to take it alive, but if it comes to that then yes. You ask how he could suggest that they kill a bee. He corrects you saying it's not technically a bee and suggests that nobody will like bees or buy your merchandise anymore if that bee keeps eating people.
You frown, and tell him you're not sure. Jefferson tells you that people seriously will not like bees after this, and the longer the rampage goes on the worse it'll get. He puts it in perspective for you by saying that if this goes on, you could be looking at a whole city full of Gents, basically. This hits you like a ton of bricks.
You reluctantly give the word to stop the bee dragon by any means necessary." With your back to the wall, you determine the best course of action for handling this Bee Dragon is...
A) To slay the beast.[1]
B) To let the Gents fight the beast and hope they kill each other.[2]
C) To die horribly.[3]
Challenges
" You begin evacuating the Hive. That Bee Dragon's rampage is getting awful close and you don't want to be here when he decides to start eating everyone again. You and all your personnel flee to the streets. You keep Collins, Jefferson, and yes even Andrews close. You need these guys, if there's anyone you can't afford to get eaten it's them.
You aren't quite sure but you've got some mighty hefty suspicions that this whole thing is somehow Richards' fault. He was awful enthusiastic when you offhandedly mentioned doodling bee dragons on your map. You guess that this means this whole thing is at least a little your fault. Come on though, how were you supposed to know mentioning that would make Richards go crazy and create a bee dragon then sic it on the city?
Okay you guess you should have seen that one coming, considering all the paranoid schizophrenia and sociopathic tendencies and whatnot. Your bad. You make a mental note to punish yourself later. Maybe you won't give yourself any lap time with Jim tonight? Yeah that'll do it. That'll be torture.
No you can't do that. Jim is a good kitty and really, it'd be just as much punishment for him. Jimmy didn't do anything wrong. You'll have to think of something else. But you'll worry about that after you've escaped certain doom; a thing that's still looming ominously overhead. Literally.
On that note, the gigantic bee dragon crashes down in the street just a few yards from your car. Aw crap. You figure this isn't going to end well. You, Collins, Jefferson, and Andrews pile out of the car and take to continuing your escape on foot. This is getting bad. The bee dragon has noticed you guys and is coming this way. Aw hell this is really bad.
You start to rally your troops, calling to all Beerarium personnel to prepare for battle and to engage the bee dragon. Nobody is that enthused about the idea. You start to give an awesome inspirational speech, and you really think it's starting to work and get people fired up. Right up until the bee dragon leaned down and scooped up Andrews in it's maw.
Oh holy hell oh God oh God oh Jesus crap it's eating Andrews.
Wait, it's eating Andrews! Hell yes. Couldn't have happened to a better guy. Maybe now your secretary will look at you instead. And really you were getting sick of his backtalking and other such shenanigans anyway.
You stop and thing about it again. Aw hell it's eating Andrews. You hate the hell out of that guy, but you can't deny he does good work. Your business is going to take a big hit now that he's dead. His position will be hard to fill, especially if the Beerarium garners a reputation for giant bee dragons and getting eaten by them.
Worse than Andrews getting eaten, your troops, upon witnessing the carnage, are now falling back instead of fighting the bee dragon. That is the opposite of what you need to be happening right now.
Before you can do much else to rally your troops back into an adequate fighting spirit, a familiar (and dumb, if you do say so yourself) mustached face arrives on the scene! It's the Exterminator, leader of the Vigilante Gents! You never thought you'd be happy to see this guy. You really hope he doesn't pick now of all times to hold a grudge over the whole paperweight thing.
The Exterminator reprimands you for creating this monstrosity, and asks if you unleashed it on the city. You tell him hell no, and that if this was your doing the bee dragon wouldn't be eating your personnel. You keep to yourself that if you actually did control the bee dragon you probably would have still made it eat Andrews, but he doesn't need to know that.
Within moments, the Exterminator is joined by the rest of his British super team. The Exterminator informs you that they're going to clean up your mess, and to watch your back because they'll be coming for you next. You aren't afraid of this guy, who is he kidding.
Aw hell you kind of are, who are you kidding. Whatever, your troops all kind of got scared off by Andrews being eaten, and you do kind of agree that the bee dragon needs to be stopped before it eats anyone else. You take this opportunity to prepare a speech to give if you (and the city) survive this whole mess. You imagine this is going to be one hell of a catastrophic PR disaster.
You let the Vigilante Gents deal with the bee dragon. After a fierce battle, the beeast (heh) eventually does fall. Afterwords though, the Gents were too worn out to come beat on your ass. You figure the least you can do is not kill them since they took care of the bee dragon and all, so you order your troops to back off and retreat back to the Hive. You don't think Richards is even worth locating at this point. Well, right now anyway.
You've got other matters to attend to at the moment. You're a president, you're a very busy man, after all. You put Jefferson on the job of tracking down Richards, then retreat to your office to prepare for the media hellstorm that is about to go down." With the bee dragon now taken care of by the Gents, and your public image tarnished, you deem it best to...
A) Give one hell of a speech to praise the Gents, apologize, and win back public support.[1]
B) Announce your resignation as the president of the Beerarium in hopes of saving the company some face.
Challenges
" It has been several days since the feral bee dragon layed waste to much of the city. You are about to take the stage and give a kiss-ass speech unlike any you'd ever given before.
Things have gotten pretty bad. The Vigilante Gents are trying to use LEGAL ACTION to take down your corporation. And so far it seems like it's going to work. Predictably, a lot of people are a little miffed with the Beerarium over this whole mishap. You even saw on the news the other day people gathering in the streets to burn your bee-shirts in protest. You shed many a tear that evening. Jim was so sad. He hates it when you cry.
Speaking of tears, you see that your hot secretary is shedding some for that dickwad Andrews. AGAIN. You let out a heavy sigh. God you hated Andrews so much. You guess you should probably say something nice to her and make her feel better. She can't help liking Andrews, he was good looking and rich and she had no idea the depths of his suckage. Man you really don't have time for this. You were just about to give a sad speech stepping down as the president of the Beerarium and subjecting yourself to public scrutiny in hopes of saving your company by taking the blame. You've got your own problems to worry about...
You approach your secretary and stare at her awkwardly while she sobs. God you are so bad at this. You know who was good at this stuff? Goddamn Andrews AUGH. You hate that guy so much. He's dead and he's still making you mad as hell. You slowly reach out your hand and gently place it on your secretary's shoulder. She looks up at you sniffling and apologizes, then asks if you need anything. You can't think of anything smart to say so you just blurt out after several awkward seconds "Don't worry. BEE happy!" Oh God did you really just do that? You know bee puns are the purest form of humor but now hardly seems like the time or the place.
She stared at you blankly for a few moments. Oh Jeez that was so distasteful, say something you idiot. God damn it. She then smiled, and started cracking up. She's laughing at you now, that's how bad you suck. But then she wiped the tears from her eyes and thanked you. What? She says that you're sweet, and thanks you for trying to cheer her up. She leans over and gives you a kiss on the cheek. Oh. Oh my.
You feel energized. Like a new you has been born. Hot damn, you feel like dancing! You figure that would be appropriate too, considering that's how bees talk and all. Aw what the hell, you bust a move or two! You shake that booty like nobody's business, and you'll be damned if your hot secretary didn't crack up more. You've got this. You've got this by the stinger. You tell your secretary to wait right where she is, because you've got a speech to give.
You go out and walk right up to that podium. You see a huge crowd of citizens, you see cameras and news crews, you see the Vigilante Gents. You guess it's now the moment of truth. You look down at your notes. You had come here with the intention of resigning and sucking up as much as you can so that your legacy isn't destroyed along with you. You decided that's what the old, sissy-man you would have done. You've been reborn as the new, SUPER you. You crumble up your notes and seize that podium like nobody's business and begin your speech.
You start off by saying a few words in honor of those who died during the attack, then lie like hell saying that you lost a dear friend in that mishap when Andrews was eaten. You take the blame for letting this happen as the president of the corporation, but then tell the people you owe them an full explanation. You go on explaining what Jefferson had learned for you in regard to Richards' insanity and demise, as well as the other sad circumstances that lead to this problem.
You apologize to the Gents for what happened to Gentlelad-- The Exterminator's sidekick whom you later discovered had been killed by the bee dragon prior to his rampage, and thank them for their service to the city. You then think that it might be wise to try and bridge this gap, so you extend and invite to the Gents to become a part of the Beerarium corporation and work to keep people safe and stop something like this from happening again. The Exterminator interjects, declaring that he'd never join you. How dramatic.
The Exterminator then gets up in front of the crowd and starts ranting and raving about how you and all of the Beerarium are lunatics and how you're going to destroy mankind and whatnot. Much to your surprise, a mere citizen interjects, reprimanding the Exterminator for his rederick. That was surprising. Afterwords, one by one citizens follow suit, explaining that the Beerarium has always been kind and helpful; how you've donated bee-shirts to the needy, fed honey to the starving, and most of all been really pleasant and kind about this whole bee dragon thing. They commended you for standing up and taking responsibility for the issue rather than hiding from it.
The Exterminator would have nothing of it, and got increasingly angry, shouting at the crowd. It was only a matter of time before his colleagues even backed out, and the crowd started throwing things at him. The mob turned violent, and you knew in the back of your mind all of this would distract the media from the bee dragon thing. You smile and nod, thank everyone over the mic as The Exterminator is torn from the stage, and triumphantly step down from the podium. Today has been a good day for the Beerarium.
As you exit the stage, Collins and Jefferson give you smiles and knowing nods, and you strut your stuff right over to your hot secretary, who was clapping away just like the rest of your staff. You being the new you and all decide to seize the hell out of this opportunity. You walk right up to that hot secretary, wrap your arm around her hip and give her a big, hunky kiss, and you throw in a nice dip for free. Your staff all whoop like frat boys as you raise your blushing secretary back up. She smiles as you scoop that bee-clad babe right up off her feet and carry her home. And if Jim has a problem he can just SUCK IT.
...
...
...
It is now an indeterminate but significant amount of time later. You are Harvey Anthony, president of the widely successful, multi-national bee-friendly corporation, The Beerarium. You are joined by your formerly hot secretary-- now hot wife, and your infant son, Buzz.
You're a little mad about that name because it reminds you of Andrews, but you'll be damned if that isn't a great name. God you hate that guy so much, how could one person be so terrible and great at the same time?
In the months following the incident with King Stinger, the Vigilante Gents became increasingly involved with ruining your company that it tarnished their own public image. Last you heard their super team had disbanded as the few remaining heroes with any sort of reputation didn't want to be associated with the Exterminator and his crazed obsession. Good riddance, you say.
You've built the Beerarium up into something spectacular. You now sell bee-shirts all over the world, and have Hives in every major country. Someday your son Buzz here will inherit quite the empire. You look up from your desk and take in your surroundings. You're very happy, not only to have a successful company, but you also have a hot wife (still making her wear those stripes because that beehind looks better in nothing else) and an heir. And best of all, Jim loves them just as much as he loves you.
You get up and shovel a spoonful of honey into your mouth, then walk over and polish the plaque on your door sporting your new life motto "Don't worry; Bee happy." You've got a feeling today is going to be a good day." With all the pieces finally in place, you...
A) Live happily ever after.
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Post by Nightmare on Jun 25, 2013 0:19:19 GMT -5
Vigilante Gents: Chapter 1" You are the leader of the British Super Team, the Vigilante Gents. You have just slapped the president of a bee-friendly corporation across the face with your coarsest dueling glove. You find this turn of events unfortunate but also inevitable
The man is the president of the organization "The Beerarium" which supposedly specializes in the helpful treatment of bees (though you prefer to think of it as more like a legion of doom.) You're quite familiar with this chap because you're a firm believer in the "Know thy enemy" philosophy. Or is it "Know thine enemy"? You aren't quite sure, but that's beside the point right now.
Filled equally with vengeful rage and classiness, you issue the man a challenge; You wish for their organization to face the Vigilante Gents in the ZV Colosseum to duke this out like men. You also mention there will be other challenges and trials and such. You thought about just doing the whole "pistols at dawn" thing but you figured that would be unfair. These corporate bee-loving swine probably have never held a gun in their lives. And you're far too classy to issue a challenge they can't even begin to compete in.
The man surprisingly accepts the duel. Honestly you figured he would try to do something dumb like offer you money or bee merchandise. Well it's just as well, you'd rather kick these guys' asses fair and square, and this way you can do it in front of a crowd, maybe woo a lass or two.
You instantly shame yourself for that thought. Your love affair is with justice and justice alone. Okay with vengeance too. Justice and vengeance make for an interesting threesome.
You turn your back and rightly strut on toward the door. You issued the challenge, no sense in taking up any more of this guys' time, he seems like a busy man. As you open the door though, the fellow calls out to you." Curious, but also dead set on making your dramatic exit, you...
A) Ignore the man and rightly finish storming out of this room.
B) Turn around and throw a Gentarang at the man for having the gall to stop you in the middle of your dramatic exit.[1]
C) Stop to hear the man out.
D) Ask the man to join you for lunch if he really wants to backsass you. That sandwich cart downstairs is looking mighty fine right about now...[2]
Challenges Penalty! <( Your last action cost all benched NPCs 5 HP.) "You had just finished challenging this guy to a duel like a boss, and right in the middle of your dramatic exit, he calls out to you.
You REALLY don't want to hear anything that'll come out of his dirty, honey-crusted, bee-loving mouth, ESPECIALLY while you're in the middle of exiting dramatically. Unfortunately, your curiosity and Gentlemanly politeness force you to stop and hear the man out.
As you turn back to face the man, you find a paperweight moving at mach-speed directly into your cranium. What a dick move, seriously.
You fall to the ground. The room is spinning. Birds and stars are circling your head like a cartoon. This is weird. And hurty. After a moment, you force yourself to your feet. Your dizziness has yet to wear off, as you stumble about in a daze. You can't even remember your name, much less what you were doing here. What was EVEN in that paperweight? It feels like it was made of like. Lead. Or adamantium or something.
You look up and vaguely make out the Beerarium president in your clouded vision. You don't really remember why he's here, but you DO remember you don't like that chap. You tell him that he's a dastardly fellow and you find him to be doing a wholly unsatisfactory job in serving the human race. That oughtta show him.
You show yourself out of his office, stumbling out the door and into the hallway."You...
A) Go back to the Beerarium President's office and ask for a hand getting out of this place.
B) Go downstairs and leave, then give your posse a call.
C) Commando-crawl to the elevator and plan your next course of action.
D) Force your way into another room in the hall. Vigilante Gents: Chapter 3Penalty! <( Your last action cost all benched NPCs 5 HP) "You stumble out into the hall outside the Beerarium president's office. That paperweight hit you really hard, if you do say so yourself. You do believe you may have a concussion. Maybe not that bad but you're dizzy as hell.
You conclude that this means war. You came to him with a Gentlemanly duel and he threw a paperweight at your head. Not even remotely classy. You think it best to leave the building and call your posse. You stumble over to the stairs, and without a single clear-minded thought try and walk down them.
Predictably, you fall down all these stairs.
You suddenly flash back to an incident in which one of your cohorts had warned you about stairs. You guess he did tell you. He told you about stairs. Dear God when will you run out of stairs to fall down, you just fall down one flight, roll around and tumble down the next. Stair after stair after stair after stair IT KEEPS HAPPENING.
You finally run out of stairs to fall down. You figure you definitely have a concussion by this point. You get up and stagger out onto the street, before collapsing and floundering about in the gutter. You would figure this is totally embarrassing and not at all classy but you don't even remember that that means anything to you.
You sit up. Let's see uhh what's going on. Right you were here... You were offended by something... You wanted to call your posse! Yeah that's it. Uh oh, who was your posse again? You can't remember. You also can't remember who you are. This can pose a problem...
As you sit pondering, you notice a policeman walking by, and as you see him walking by, a piece of paper falling from the sky and gently fluttering to the ground a few feet away from you catches your eye."You decide to...
A) Ask the police man for help, one dapper gent to another.
B) Sit up and desperately try to remember who you are and who your posse is.[1]
C) Crawl over and grab that piece of paper.
D) Give yourself a new name and identity since you can't remember the old one.[2]
Challenges
Vigilante Gents: Chapter 4" You sit up in the gutter. You still don't really remember who you are or what's going on. You remember you don't like that guy you were talking to, and you were gonna call your posse.
Okay cool. Now who was your posse again...? Let's see... Who were you again? That might be a good place to start.
You think really hard. You don't think you're Brad Pitt, even though that'd be cool. You're pretty sure you aren't Xero Bloodline, even though again that'd be cool... You look around for clues and get an eyeful of those stupid "Bee-Shirts" those weirdos are displaying in their front window. Who even would think to do something like that? You're pretty sure an Ethiopian died because of that pun.
Wait. Bee-Shirt... B-Shirt... T-Shirt... Tea-Shirt--- TEA! Oh man you could go for a cup of tea right about now. You must be British. Maybe you're Smoke? That'd be cool. He's like British Xero.
But unfortunately you're pretty sure you're not Smoke. The British thing does sit right with you though. Man if only that Beevil rapscallion hadn't thrown that weight at your head.
Wait you remember those things! You hate bees! And that guy threw something at you! Why did he.... AH HA!
You are now The Exterminator, leader of the British Super Team, the Vigilante Gents! You set out earlier in the day to challenge the evil bee-themed corporation, the Beerarium, to a duel in the ZV Colosseum! That is, before you were assaulted. Now that you got your head back on straight, you guess you should get around to actually calling your posse now.
You pull out your pocket watch, which is actually a communicator. You phone your trusty side-kick to fill him in on what's going down. War, that is. He seems excited; didn't think the little bloke had such a taste for carnage.
You make a mental note to curb your side-kick's appetite from carnage and maybe a little more toward crumpets. But seeing as we're going to war and all, you guess the carnage thing is fine for now." Now that you've regained your memories (and motor skills), you...
A) Look for some townspeople to help.
B) Get something from that hotdog cart across the street.[1]
C) Head toward the Colosseum to prepare a serving of justice.
D) Be the other guy.
Challenges
Event! <( Your previous action spawned a special character in the Colosseum.) " As you wander the city, your memories restored, you're reminded of some awful things. Things from your past.
It was a warm summer afternoon. It was your 5th birthday. Your parents had set up a pinata in the back yard. You were blindfolded, brandishing a wooden stick.
You desperately tried to break that pinata, excited to consume it's candied innards. In the heat of your excitement, the stick flew loose from your hands. Through the air it soared, high into the tree. And there it fell.
A hive filled to the brim with angry, angry bees. Your parents, in spite of both being deathly allergic to bees, shielded you with their bodies. You were put in foster care after a neighbor found you 6 hours later pinned beneath their lumpy, thoroughly stung corpses.
Filled with a new, fiery desire for both justice and vengeance, you take to the streets looking for some crime to fight. Nothing helps get your blood pressure back down to the doctor-recommended levels than helping innocents and waling on ruffians.
You go about the usual; help a few cats out of trees, retrieve a few purses, beat the snot out of some jay walkers, and of course stomp on a few bees. This was part of your daily routine, you remember. But it's not quite sating your thirst for justice.
As if by fate's hand, a strange fellow approaches you asking for help. The mustached little man introduces himself as Higgins, and explains that he's an archaeologist and he thinks that he's onto an interesting discovery. Unfortunately something of his was taken from him by some Bee-themed dastardly fellows. You can't get over how unclassy these bee-loving hooligans are. Naturally, you immediately volunteer to put up your dukes on his behalf.
Higgins leads you to the place where he said he was mugged, and sure enough you find some rapscallions bearing that dumb explosive bee insignia, accompanied by a smooth-looking wanker in a suit sporting a gaudy black and orange striped tie. Though your justice gland was telling you to demolish them, you DID notice that there was A LOT of them. Maybe you're a little in over your head.
Higgins looks up at you hopeful. You look into his beady little eyes beaming with what you assume is bloodlust for beevildoers. You've gotten yourself into quite the pickle." You weigh your options, and decide to...
A) Retreat.
B) Hang back and call for reinforcements.
C) Demolish those smug, bee-clad naydowells.[1]
D) Disguise yourself as a Buzz-Butt and infiltrate the group.[2]
Challenges
Vigilante Gents: Chapter 6" From your vantage point, you tell Higgins to stay back, and that you had an idea. He asked if you were going to give those rowdy chaps a thrashing. As much as you'd have liked to do that, you weren't looking forward to another concussion. You wanted to play it safe this time, and maybe learn more about the Beerarium in the process.
You whip out your trusty Gentlemen's disguise kit! Higgins is impressed as you exchange your crime-fighting outfit for a bee-themed costume, complete with gross bug-eye hat, striped shirt, and little buzzing bees on a yellow jacket.
Heh, yellow jacket. That's actually kind of clever.
Oh God you're making bee puns, this villainy is contagious. You feel disgusting wearing these clothes. But unfortunately you sometimes have to do some bad things to fight a greater evil.
You casually approach the bee-loving hooligans. Their leader was holding a strange piece of paper--what you presume is what Higgins had stolen from him. The leader looked at you confusedly. You introduce yourself as a fellow bee enthusiast and tell him you would like to beat up those dastardly gents. That oughtta throw them off your trail.
The man stares at you with a crazy eye, and keeps whispering into his shoulder. You assume he's got a communicator in his jacket or something. You hope he hasn't found you out.
The man asks who you are. You tell him your name is uhh... Oh hell you didn't think of a fake name. You look around for inspiration, but you're surrounded by bee-clad chaps and don't have much to go off of. Let's see a bee name, what would one of those bee loons say... Uhhhh...
Your name is... Bee...Ned... Dick... Beenedict! Beenedict Arnold! Yeah. You stroke your mustache victoriously, you did a good job with that one.
The man raises an eyebrow, but seems to be buying it." Now that you've gained his trust, you...
A) Snatch the paper and run
B) Attack his posse while their guards are down
C) Play it cool and figure out what they're up to
D) Ask to see the paper " You seem to be making some headway. The ol' chap seems to be buying your disguise. You decide it would be wise to play it cool and talk to him more. Maybe get to know him and see what these fellows are up to causing trouble out here, maybe even find out what's on that piece of paper that's so important.
You ask the bee-loving jerk who he is. He narrows his gaze suspiciously, but answers you nonetheless. He reveals himself as Hill Richards, the Chief Sales Rep for the Beerarium corporation. He then offers you some bee merchandise. You really really don't want it, but you decide to act friendly and buy them off of him. God what are you even going to do with bee-shaped underwear. You bet that would feel so awkward.
You decide to see what you can learn about that paper. You ask what he was doing all the way out here, then try to be subtle by implying the weather sure was nice. He didn't seem to chuckle. You start to get a little nervous, but maybe this guy is just kind of weird. He talks into his shoulder again, which once more makes you feel uneasy. You ask him about the piece of paper. He holds it up and says 'Oh this paper?' You confirm.
The guy snaps his fingers, and in that instant both his big, muscular cohorts grab you. Fiddlesticks, you knew you were too classy to pass yourself off as a bee. Your first instinct is to play dumb, but you quickly notice these guys are serious. Better use your mighty gent strength to break free!
Though these guys are holding on pretty tight...
As you struggle with the musclemen, Higgins comes running to your rescue! No Higgins, turn back! This is no place for a citizen like you! Higgins lookout!
The bee-clad bastard reaches into his jacket and removes a clunky-looking fire-arm adorned with black and yellow stripes. You kind of think it looks like a hair dryer, actually. As if he could read your thoughts, he snaps saying it's not a hair dryer, and that it's an awesome gun. Then demands silence. You think that's really weird.
Lookout Higgins! He's got a gun! The heartless buzzing bastard takes aim and fires a stinger-like projectile right into Higgins' gut. Higgins doubles over. You watch as the life seemingly slips from his eyes as his consciousness fades. You can't stand the thought of losing an innocent life like this. You call out in rage as you thrash about, dealing some swift kicks to your restrainers as you begin to free yourself.
Before you know it though, another shot is fired. You feel something pierce you. You look down and see a stinger lodged in your gut. It feels so warm, and doesn't hurt as much as you had imagined. You begin to feel yourself slipping out of consciousness..." With your last breath, you...
A) Curse the Beerarium and vow to haunt their descendants for generations to come.
B) Try to break free and mortally wound your assaulter.
C) Slip peacefully into a deep sleep.
D) Be the other guy. Penalty! <( Your last action cost all benched NPCs 5 HP.) " You're shot by the Bee-Loving rapscallion as his cohorts restrain you. This can't end here, you tell yourself. You have to protect the world from bees, among other things. You can feel yourself losing consciousness though. This is it, you're afraid. You look up at your shooter and part with him words you know will haunt him for the rest of his days. You tell him that so long as the sun shines and the moon rises, the Vigilante Gents will always be there to protect those who seek justice. You tell him that his vicious, beevil crimes will not go unpunished, and that while you may fall, the Vigilante Gents will always stand strong.
The savage kicks you in the ribs, his lackeys releasing you as you collapse to the ground. Though your final moments are full of pain and regret, you know that your sacrifice will not be in vain. You slowly slip out of consciousness and have no choice but to be the other guy.
You are now Gentlelad, trusty sidekick to the leader of the Vigilante Gents, the Exterminator.
Orphaned when a bee-carrying truck got into a collision with your parent's car, you've long harbored a vengeful attitude toward bees. Your mentor saw this in you, and took you under his wing to hone your hatred into a powerful weapon to be used to fight for justice. Honestly, you're not sure if it's working, since you're mostly just into the idea of carnage and whatnot. But you figure you'll stick it out and try to become a good super hero regardless.
You parted ways with your mentor shortly before he set out to challenge the Beerarium to a duel in their corporate headquarters, or as you like to call it "The Legion of Beevil." You decided to hang back and work on protecting citizens and smashing bees and instead.
You received a call from your mentor some time later, learning of his assault. You were pretty outraged. He asked you to rally the troops. You were excited to see some bee carnage. He told you to settle down. You pretended to, but secretly was still super excited.
You had gone to the Gentlemen's Lounge and rallied the Gents to prepare for war. You made it sound especially bad, just to increase the chances of carnage. A little white lie on your part, but you did get them fired up, so mission accomplished, you guess.
Since then you've taken back to the streets to do more hero work. While roaming around inflicting pain on evil doers and smooshing dastardly buzzing insects, you find some strange papers blowing in the wind. You take off your hat and catch the pieces in your cap. Looking down at the papers, they look old and kind of crappy. Well that's just great you found garbage and now it's in your hat. How unfortunate." Well now that you've got nothing better to do, you may as well...
A) Stalk the park for villainy.
B) Try and piece the paper shreds together.[1]
C) Expediate the carnage by attacking the Hive.
D) Become a supervillain.[2]
Challenges
Vigilante Gents: Chapter 9" You examine the shreds of garbage you caught in your hat. You guess you have nothing better to do at this point in time, so you sit down and look it over. One man's trash is another man's treasure, after all!
You look at the paper shreds and see that it kind of looks like it was once a picture of some sort. You shrug and start to piece it together. Before too long, you've completed the picture, and hot damn it's a treasure map! You never imagined you'd find a treasure map just blowing about in the wind. But upon closer inspection, it seems to belong to those bee-loving bastards. Ew.
But then again, you think this may be even better. What better way to get under those Buzz-Butts' skin than to steal all their dumb bee treasure? You think this is a great idea. Forget the Colosseum, while those guys are busy there you'll be looting their treasure cove. You take your map and set out for the location marked.
You do exactly as the map says. You go around that one tree, past the tall-ass mountains, and through the dark cave (it really was rather dark) and eventually come upon a hidden cavern. Oh man you can already smell the riches, you can hardly wait! Those bees will be so mad that you took their treasure, surely between this and all the prior instigating you've done, you'll incite some serious carnage. You find yourself a little aroused by the thought. Upon realizing this, you come to terms with the fact that you may have suffered some really serious emotional trauma and you probably need professional help. You figure it can wait til after the looting and the carnage, though.
You enter the cavern and find it lined with riches--all bee themed though. Solid gold honeycombs filled with diamonds, solid gold bee statues, jewel-encrusted beehives, the works. You start to wonder what you should steal first when you hear a loud, scary sound behind you. You turn around and find a man in a white lab coat. You're a little confused. Then from behind him, emerging from the shadows of the cavern, a gigantic, bee dragon thing appears. Holy crap. You were sure the map was bluffing about that part.
The science dude asks who you are and what you're doing here. You don't bother playing nice with him. If he's here with that thing, he obviously is a bad guy. And you've got a lot of carnage to get out of your system, so you figure you can start with this guy. You threaten him and talk smack about bees. He says you must be one of those pesky Gents. You laugh and tell him you're going to defeat him and take all this treasure. He says he's going to kill you and take all the treasure for himself. You think it's high-time you instigate some serious carnage right about now.
The science guy reaches into his coat and pulls out a weird bee-themed gun. Or a hair dryer. You can't really tell from here. Regardless, you're a quicker draw as you fling a Gentarang--your personal favorite fascial-hair-shaped projectile weapon--and knock the weapon from his hand! The science dude winces, and reaches into his coat again, this time pulling out a strange remote. You once again are a quicker draw, flinging a Gentarang and dislodging the remote from his grasp. He scrambles for the remote, but you're quicker and stomp it flat. You have no idea what that thing did but it couldn't have been good.
The science guy panics, calling you a fool and asking if you realize what you had done. You know exactly what you did. THWART HIS BEEVIL PLANS. That's what. You ask him if he's up for a long counseling session with Dr.Fist and Mr.Punch. That's code for wailing on him, for those who don't know.
Before you get a chance to start beating on the science dude, however, the gigantic bee dragon lets out a fearsome roar, then rips the big electronic collar off from it's neck. Oh. You guess the remote probably had something to do with that. Your bad.
The Bee Dragon quickly scoops up the science dude and pops him in its mouth like a honey-flavored tic-tac. Brutal. You figured it was about time you saw some carnage.
You were so distracted being aroused by the carnage though that you didn't even notice the giant bee dragon leaning his head down to your level. You look into the bee dragon's big, creepy eyes. In their reflections you see dozens of images of yourself. You see who you are now. And you see who you were then. The loving, playful boy who enjoyed life before his parents were taken away. You realize that you are still that boy. All this vengeance and thirst for carnage has blinded you to that. You're still a good person. Your parents may have died that day, but you didn't.
You accept the warm embrace of this mind-soothing epiphany like you do the warm embrace of countless flaming bees pouring from the maw of a beast. Literally.
.....
.....
.....
You are now The Exterminator, leader of the British super team, the Vigilante Gents. You've just awoken in the park to the sounds of countless screams. You rub your head in a daze. You're pretty sure this isn't heaven. And you're also kinda sure this isn't hell. You wonder what gives.
You look over and see Higgins sit up, rubbing his head and stroking his mustache, muttering nonsense as he stretches. Higgins! You're alive! Oh man you're so happy. You give Higgins a hug, even though he seems kind of confused and seems like he feels incredibly awkward.
You get up and brush yourself off, and start looking around. You did wake up to countless screams, after all. You may as well see what the deal is. You bound away and hop atop a vantage point, perching and observing, like any real hero would. You see off in the distance your worst nightmare-- A gigantic bee monster attacking the city! Those Beerarium scum know no bounds, do they? This is crazy even for them. You start to approach the scene, removing a your fancy oldschool pockethingych/communicator and ring your sidekick. Gentlelad doesn't seem to be responding. You fear the worst. That's the second sidekick this year, you really should stop letting them go off on their own.
You perch atop a tall building overlooking the destruction. You call your super team and command them to assemble at once. You're going to need all the manpower you can get. Puzzling though, upon closer inspection, the Beerarium troops are down there fighting with it. Ahhh, you see now. This isn't them attacking the city, this is one of their horrible experiments run amok. That's only slightly better, though. Those savages had no business creating something like this in the first place. Back in your day, this wouldn't even be possible.
You take a moment to shake your fist at the sky and damn the invention of Ultra Science. Ever since they came up with Ultra Science, it was way too easy for shenanigans like this to take place. You figure that'll have to be a crusade for another day though." With your eyes locked on the giant monster bee, your obvious course of action is...
A) To slay the beast.[1]
B) To let the Beerarium fight the beast and hope they kill each other.[2]
C) To die horribly.[3]
Challenges
" You stare down the massive bee dragon laying waste to the city. You would like to dive right in and start killing it, but if you've learned anything from today it's that you're a smidge too reckless. You bide your time, waiting for your super team to arrive. Since you've been perching it's only eaten Beerarium ruffians anyway. You don't see that as much of a loss, in spite of your heroic persona.
You figure that's kind of cold. Maybe you oughtta go down and at least try and distract it until your super team arrives. Yeah, you probably should, you guess. You dive from your vantage point and land directly in front of the previously unnamed but now revealed Harvey Anthony, president of the Beerarium beevildoer organization.
You turn to the Beerarium president and give him an earful. The Beerarium far overstepped their bounds by creating this utter sin against nature and mankind. You ask him if he's responsible for this rampage; if this was some devious Beerarium plot to wreak havoc. He assures you that if this was a situation under their control that the bee dragon wouldn't be eating his colleagues. You guess that's true. You were sort of working under the assumption that this was an evil experiment gone awry from the very beginning, anyway.
Just in time, your super team, the Vigilante Gents assembles! Sans your sidekick, Gentlelad. By this point you're certain something rather unfortunate has happened to him. Gentlelad would never willingly miss out on this much carnage. You hope he at least found peace, wherever he is. You make a mental note to track him down and give him a classy funeral if applicable. Would not be very gentlemanly of you to let your trusty side-kick's death go unhonored.
You order the Beerarium to back off and let you and your super friends handle this. These beevil rapscallions have done enough harm, now you're going to clean up this mess and do what you do best; save the city from bees. The bee dragon lets out a fearsome roar, and your team scatters, moving in on the offensive!
You assault the beast with a barrage of Gentarangs and smoke bombs, to disorient it. The monster becomes enraged, swinging it's claws about! But that's okay, because as it was distracted, Wonder Lass was able to sneak up and snare it with her Shining Lasso of Class and restrain it!
As the beast struggled, Super Gent flew down and zapped the abomination with his nuclear vision! Awesome! Though the monster retaliated by breathing a stream of flaming bees...! Luckily the The Green Kettle wasted no time using his Dapper Ring to project a magic shield over your team! You guys are such an awesome super team.
As the monster flailed around, you leapt up and tossed a handful of Scone Bombs into it's gaping maw! Within moments, the bombs detonated as they passed through it's throat, severing it's head most gruesomely! This one's for you, Gentlelad. This carnage is in your honor.
Cheers and applause rings out in the streets as citizens, and even some Beerarium personnel, celebrate your victory. The city is saved! You couldn't be happier. Your team is worn out though. As much as you'd like to now set your sights on the Beerarium, you figure you'll have to bring them to justice legally after the fact, rather than with some immediate face punching. Your allies' health is your top priority right now." With the city now saved, and the Beerarium's foul play apparent, you decide it best to...
A) Use all of your heroic authority to dismantle the Beerarium and seek legal action against all of it's staff.[1]
B) Leave the Beerarium be and let that problem sort itself out, then consider retiring after this whole ordeal.
Challenges
" It has been several days since you and your British super team defeated the feral bee monster that attacked the city. You are currently waiting in town square, alongside your super-team, many citizens of the city, the media, and even Beerarium personnel, in anticipation of a speech from the president of the Beerarium.
You can only assume that paperweight-chucking naydowell has come to beg for forgiveness before being publicly flayed by the townsfolk. You don't have to admit to any thirsts for carnage to say with honesty that you've been waiting a long time for this day.
Things have not been looking good for the Beerarium ever since that whole bee monster incident. The public has started viewing them very negatively, with protests in the streets, burnings of bee-themed merchandise, and removal of honey from shops across the city. Whereas YOU have received the key to the city for defeating the monster. You've got a feeling today is going to be a good day for the Vigilante Gents.
President Anthony finally steps up to the podium. He looks a little different than usual. A bit bolder. More sinister, in your book. What is this dastardly fellow planning...? He crumbles up some papers and tosses them aside, and begins his speech. He spews some rancid, insincere words in memory of the citizens he and his bee monster murdered, then tries to win sympathy with some drivel about losing a friend when the monster attacked. You scoff, if he and his evil corporation hadn't created the monster in the first place, nobody would have died.
The beevil rapscallion then segways into a kiss-up speech for the Gents. Is he kidding you? He thanks you for your service to the city and goes on about how your bravery saved thousands of lives, and then gives his condolences for Gentlelad, who they found fried in the Beerarium's treasure cove. Those wankers don't deserve to speak Gentlelad's name, much less exploit his memory to try and make themselves look compassionate. You're starting to get a little ticked off.
But that was only the beginning. After disgracing Gentlelad after they went and murdered him, President Anthony actually extends an invitation for you and your super team to become a part of the Beerarium! How stereotypically villainous do you have to be!? An invitation to join him, how original. By this point you're furious. You stand up before the crowd and shout in your deepest, most intimidating voice a loud and powerful "NEVER!" You've always been a stickler for the dramatics.
The crowd gasps in awe as you take the stage. The president attempts to speak but you shush him, naming him for the criminal that he is. You turn to the citizens of the city, look right into the news cameras, and give a speech of your own. You explain that bees are evil, and have been killing people for centuries. You explain that the Beerarium is an evil corporation that exploits everything bad about bees and while they may try and win your hearts with cute honey jars and cheesey shirts, it's all part of a despicable plot to lull everyone into a false sense of security while they perform acts of evil (beevil.) The monster that ravaged the city should be all the proof anyone needs of that.
You confidently stare down the crowd as your message sinks in. But much to your dismay and horror, a citizen stands up and defends the Beerarium. And then one by one, citizen after citizen start rising and shouting words of praise for the Beerarium. Dear lord this goes way deeper than you ever imagined.
You take it upon yourself to correct the citizens, you talk about all the bees that they rescue that go on to sting their children, all the businesses destroyed because the Beerarium buys the land out from under them to make stupid bee sanctuaries, and most of all you elaborate on the fact that the Beerarium has been pouring money into militant organizations to make bee weaponry (hence the monster, HELLO PEOPLE!) and have been stockpiling treasure. No good, ethical organization operates that way!
But the citizens would have nothing of it. The damage has been done. You frantically make your plight, and are struck with treachery as you watch your fellow Gents back down in the face of adversity and quietly leave. You should have known better than to count on others.
The mob storms the stage, pulling you into the folds of the crowd. You guess it really is true what they say; You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. You fight off the grasping talons of the townspeople and throw a crumpet bomb from your belt into the ground, creating a smokescreen you use to escape.
As you venture back toward the Gentlemen's Lounge, you contemplate where to go from here. All hope seems lost at this point. Perhaps this is it for your fight for justice...? With the public now turned against you, your super team will have to work in the shadows. If you even still HAVE a super team... Today has been a very sad day for the Vigilante Gents...
...
...
...
It is now an indeterminate but significant amount of time later. You are Remus Jordan, formerly known as "The Exterminator" and were once leader of the British Super Team, the Vigilante Gents. These days you spend your time as a mild-mannered citizen.
The months following the attack on the city by the bee monster known as "King Stinger" have been rough. Despite the Beerarium creating and losing control of a monster and it eating tons of people and causing millions of dollars worth of property damage, they still managed to turn it around and win public favor. If only you knew how those dastardly buzz-butts did it.
Your super team, the Vigilante Gents, disbanded shortly after that fateful day in which the Beerarium president made a speech that turned the world against you. They couldn't handle the pressure of having all that public hatred focused on them. Many of them hung up their capes as you have, while others simply moved away and decided to work solo.
You reluctantly agree that this is none of your concern any longer. A city controlled by bees has no need for heroes who stand up to them. You're still filled with unimaginable fury every time you see a bee though. So much so that you can't help but want to incite some... Carnage.... Hmmm... These are dangerous thoughts.
You then stop and think. You may have been the hero this city deserved, but you weren't the one it needed right now. And you did say that his city has no need for a hero specifically... You think you can make this work.
You hit up the local thrift store and get some dark colored fabrics. You're going to be sewing a lot tonight.
This city wants to make bees the heroes? That's fine by you. You'll still fight against bees and stand up for justice. Even if you have to be on the wrong side of the law to make it happen.
This city, and those Beerarium scum won't know what hit them." With your fire restored, you...
A) Commit yourself to a life of crime.
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