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Post by Sonic on Feb 28, 2006 12:26:51 GMT -5
The Beginning
His trigger finger was itchy again. He felt an overpowering desire to satisfy the itch, but he knew of the repercussions. As he stared out at the beautiful wasteland that was once known as his home, Gerra felt like finding the bastards responsible for it all. Not much left for me here anyway, he thought. And so he holstered his gun, and began gathering whatever supplies there were in his now ram shackled home. The essentials; food, water, some clothes. He carelessly stuffed it into his knapsack, and began making his way north, to the city. Or at least, what he thought was north. No, this has to be the north, he thought, I can see the lights in the distance. As he trudged his way past tumbleweed and knotgrass, he found himself wishing for his good old motorcycle. He didn’t have a special name for it, he just knew it as his one source of transportation, but it was now just mangled metal, along with the rotting wood and tarnished iron of his home. He looked up at some bare, wind-lashed trees as they moved rhythmically to the wind’s touch. I’ve gotta get out of this hell hole, and when I do, it’s payback time, he thought grimly. And so he walked on… ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, tell me what you guys think. What should it be titled? Right now it's just a bunch of ideas running through my head. I don't want to sound guy thingyy, but I feel I'm an excellent writer, and I can make this into something if I don't get lazy...
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Post by Fusion on Feb 28, 2006 12:29:33 GMT -5
Study the way I make my stories. My use of quotations and italics, to be specific. They'll help you a lot. But, if I must, when I get home I'll reformat that into a Mighty-style fanfic piece.
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Post by Sonic on Feb 28, 2006 12:32:31 GMT -5
Yeah, I wasn't really thinking of writing mechanics, just on how I worded everything and made it sound. But I'll start using Italics, underlines, indenting and making well structured paragraphs, etc. That, coupled with a good story, makes it perfect. Oh and it's ok dude, you don't need to reformat anything. I'll just do it my own way. Thanks though.
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Post by Frozt on Feb 28, 2006 20:42:34 GMT -5
I kind liked the format. Without the bold and italics, it would of been a little cluttered-looking.
Nice story, continue on!
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Post by Sonic on Feb 28, 2006 22:04:10 GMT -5
Yea my writing style is a little different, I like using sort of a poetic style, and I like using oxymorons, like that "beautiful wasteland" line.
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Post by Sonic on Mar 6, 2006 14:10:49 GMT -5
Chapter 1
Gerra walked on, the wind steadily blowing harder, his hair whipping his face. He was lost in his thoughts, wondering why on Earth those robots had completely demolished his home. He didn’t know robots like that even existed! Robots wielding beam swords, blasters, and God knows what else, he thought bitterly. He thought robots were created to assist humans, not destroy their homes. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Gerra pulled a sandwich out of his knapsack and chewed it hungrily. I don’t give a rat’s ass what the hell their reasons were, they destroyed my home, my village, so now I’ll destroy them,[/b] he thought. Gerra was a young man, ambitious and energetic. His mother died when he was young, and his father was an asshole who ran out on the family right when his mom died, leaving him when he needed him the most. He had a younger sister, and when their father left them they were sent to live with some distant relatives. However, it seemed that luck was just a bitch with Gerra, because just last year his sister and few remaining relatives died in a car crash. Gerra was in the car with them, and luckily, (or unluckily, as Gerra saw it) he survived, leaving him on his own. Gerra was now a grown man, so living on his own was no longer a problem. He was actually doing quite well for a few months, until his luck decided to screw him again, and those mysterious robots came out of nowhere and trashed his home, which previously belonged to his relatives. Luck is just nonexistent with me, he thought glumly. The lights of the city were growing brighter, meaning he was almost at his destination. Good thing too, this wind is pissing me off, he thought. The thunder was now rumbling louder than ever. “Why the hell don’t you just rain already?!” Gerra shouted, looking up at the heavens. It didn’t begin raining, yet the rumbling kept growing louder. “What is that? Is it even thunder?” Gerra stopped in his tracks, slowly turning around. His question was answered in the form of the biggest truck he had ever seen in his life. Roughly the size of a small building, it was accelerating at a speed that completely defied its size. Gerra had counted at least thirty wheels before he realized: It was coming straight at him. “Oh, crap,” he muttered. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, so tell me what you guys think, be honest and criticize if necessary. Should I keep the writing format the way it is? What I mean by that is they way I use the italics, bold, etc. And I don't want to give the story in huge portions, some may get bored from reading so much in one sitting, so I think it's better offering the story in chunks. Just tell me what you guys think.
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Post by Fusion on Mar 6, 2006 14:11:56 GMT -5
Not a bad start, Sonic. Not a bad start at all.
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Post by Sonic on Mar 6, 2006 14:14:55 GMT -5
Thanks, do you think anything is wrong with it? I modified it a little bit, do you think it looks decent?
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swimstud600
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Post by swimstud600 on Mar 6, 2006 20:15:36 GMT -5
It looks like a good start, somebody really must not like him. But its a good thing you put it here first, I don't think it'll win the fanfic contest like that. My story isn't finished, (my story may never end) but I submitteded the entire first chapter and ended in the aftermath of a big fight, which is a much better place to quit than the main character about to be run over by a huge truck if you get what I'm saying. But keep up the good work, I can't wait to see more. (Why the heck am I giving advice and encouragement to my competition?)
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Post by Sonic on Mar 7, 2006 12:33:43 GMT -5
Well I'm not really looking at this as competition, Swim. I'm just trying to come up with a good story that everyone will enjoy reading, and you're right there's no way I'm submitting this, I'm just starting. If I were finishing up then I would. But I still have all these ideas rushing through my head, and it's hard to get it down on paper. The 2nd chapter is almost done, but I'm trying to think of where all the pieces will fit together, because I'm adding some new characters.
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swimstud600
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Post by swimstud600 on Mar 7, 2006 15:50:29 GMT -5
You've got two weeks and if this bit is any indication, it should turn out good.
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