The final battle of the Maverick hunters

[R-Cubed]

I'm new to writing Fan fics so please excuse some flaws that it might have.

Setting: The setting is 4 months after what happened with lumine. Sigma was finally destroyed but instead of maverick attacks decreasing they began to increase for an unknown reason. Maverick hunters X, Zero and Axl continuosly fight against the seemingly endless maverick attacks. Axl however seems different. Axl is acting more like Vile used to behave when vile was a maverick hunter. Anyway here's my story so i hope you enjoy it.


"Tear it down." said a green reploid as he was looking at the orbital elevator with a large group of reploids behind him. All of the reploids began to attack the orbital elevator and within minutes it was destroyed. "Sir it's torn down." said the green reploid as he was communicating with a blue reploid that appeared on his watch.

"Good there's nothing left just come back to the base." said the blue reploid.

"Yes sir commander X." replied the green reploid. "Return to the hunter base immediatly." commanded the green reploid. Every one left the place where the orbital elevator once was.

"Those fools will pay for destroying the oribtal elevator." said a figure that was standing where the reploids were. The figure left with really high speed and seemed like if it disappeared.

"Axl watch out." said zero as he saw a tall bald guy sneak up behind him and took out a light saber preparing to attack him. Axl quickly turned around and shot him with ease.

"These simulations are pathetic." Axl told looking bored. "We should be hunting some mavericks." added Axl.

"Why are you acting this way Axl?" Zero asked looking at Axl in an annoyed manner.

"Your just jealouse of me because i was the one that destroyed Lumine in his Lost paradise form." Responded Axl in a concieted way.

"X was the one that finished Lumine off. If i recall lumine was going to destroy you if me and X hadn't been there." responded zero.

"What ever i don't need to be here." said Axl as he left the Maverick hunters training room.

"Zero i'm sorry for the way Axl treated you." said a women with violet clothing and violet hair that covered her eyes.

"It's alright Layer i'm sure he'll be back to normal soon enough." responded zero.

"Zero want to you know talk." said layer nervously.

"You mean like a date?" responded zero.

"Um yeah." responded layer blushing and unable to talk straight.

"Sure meet me down stairs in an hour." responded zero.

Mean while Axl was walking angrily leaving the building.

"Axl wait up." said a girl reploid wearing green.

"What do you want pallete." responded Axl.

"Why have you been acting this way?" Asked pallete. Suddenly an alarm starting to ring.

"Mavericks detected at point 024." said the alarm system.

"Finally i'll get some excitement." responded Axl quickly going to point 024.

"I'm sorry layer but i have to go." said zero.

"Zero will we continue where we left off?" asked layer.

"Of course we can talk all you want." zero responded and that put a smile on her face after he left. Zero left running and when he reached sector 024 he saw a huge fire.

"We meet again zero." said a voice and when zero looked up he recognized the reploid.


I'm sorry but i had to end the first chapter early because i have to go. I'll update it whenever i can. I hope you enjoy it.

[swimstud600]

Huh. The story is kind of choppy, doesn't flow very well. Especially dialogue, you could use some work on that. And grammer. A good example is this sentence: "These simulations are pathetic." Axl told looking bored. "We should be hunting some mavericks." added Axl.
The story itself sounds ok so far, its mostly the writing mechanics from what I've seen.

[R-Cubed]

I get that alot. They always say my stories are good but the writing is horrible. Here's the second chapter which i'll try to make it sound better.

"I thought you were dead." said zero looking surprised when he saw the figure that was responsible for the fire.

"You maverick hunters ruined my life." "Ever since the eurasia incident i had to wander collecting Night mare souls to survive." said the tall reploid who had blue armor, red visors and white hair.

"Dynamo there are no more night mare soulds so how are you still alive." asked zero.

"It's simple." "After you defeated sigma and put an end to the night mare phenomena the night mare souls began to decrease." I knew that i would not be able to survive. "I felt so much pain and felt that i wasn't going to make it." Suddenly a figure appeared." "It asked me if i still wanted to live." "I do, please make the pain go away." I told the figure. "I'll make you into what you once were." said that figure. "The problem was he told me that i had to willingly obey his every command." "I of course didn't but he made the pain return." "So that is why i'm here because of you."

"How is it my fault?" Zero asked

"It's all because of your virus." "When i let the eurasia colony fall your virus infected me." "That is why i'm like this." Responded Dynamo.

"You were the one that made the colony fall." "So that means the world was destroyed because of you. I'll never forgive you for this!" Exclaimed zero out of anger.

"Yes it was as lord sigma commanded me." "You destroyed sigma didn't you." "You also destroyed the orbital elevator which causes a huge dent in our plan."

"Who is this guy who brought you back from a seemingly dead fate." asked zero.

"He is the next ruler of this world." "He is an old man but he is very interested in your body." "I don't see why since i'm clearly the most powerful reploid to ever live and i'll prove it to you." said dynamo as he shot a blast from his arm cannon.

"I won't let you get away with this." said zero as he jumped and grabbed what seemed like a microphone from his back. A green light came out and it was his trademark light saber. Suddenly a blast came out of nowhere and caused a huge explosion where dynamo was standing.

"Axl why didn't you come earlier?" said zero in a joking voice.

"Be quite you piece of scrap metal you can't do anything i had to come here to save you." said Axl really angered for some reason.

"Who in the world are you?" asked dynamo with his armor seriously damaged.

"Your worst night mare." said Axl preparing to shoot another shot. Zero grabbed Axl's arm to prevent him from shooting again. "Let go zero!" demanded Axl trying to get zero off of him.

"Axl another blast could destroy this whole section think about what your doing." said zero but axl finally got loose and shot dynamo. the blast was intense and dynamo was destroyed.

"Zero you've become a maverick." said Axl raising his pistol at zero. "I must destroy all mavericks."

"Axl what are you talking about what's going on with you recently?" asked zero. Axl pulled the trigger on his blaster but zero deflected the blast with his light saber.

"Guys stop it." said a blue reploid who came out of nowhere.

"X i'm just taking care of a maverick." said axl trying to justify his reason.

"Zero is no maverick. Axl return to HQ we need to run some tests on you." said X

"You can't make nobody tells me what to do." responded axl as he prepared to shoot X.

"Forgive me Axl but i had to do this." said zero as he came from out of nowhere and sliced Axl's arm with his light saber.

"X what happened?" asked Alia.

"We believe that Axl has gone maverick, me and Zero are taking him to HQ so that you can run some tests on him."

"So that prototype might be stronger than we thought." said a mysterious voice in a dark place watching what Axl had done.

"I'll go contact the grand master of what happened." said a second voice.

"You can't do this to me X and Zero are the mavericks not me!" said Axl screaming as he was put in a room where he could do nothing.

"We uncovered something in Axl cerebral cortex." There appears to be a mysterious thing inside of his head. said Alia.

"Is it a virus?" asked X.

"No. It seems to be a living thing but i can't tell you for sure. I'll need to run more tests." replied Alia.

"Emergency Emergency Mavericks detected 10 feet from Maverick Hunters Head Quarters." said the Maverick Hunter HQ alarm.

"All Hunters try to stop the attack." said alia in the main room so that all hunters would hear.

"Alia what are you doing i'm a maverick hunter. X and Zero are mavericks." said Axl.

"We're sorry Axl but it's to dangerous to let you out." responded Alia. Suddenly there was an explosion in the wall of the room that Axl was in.

"We can't let them destroy the base." said X. When the finally reached where the mavericks where there was an entire army of Mettaur and Mettaur commnaders along with sniper joes were right in front of the base. Then a ship came and picked up all of the mavericks.

"We got what we came for let's go." said a voice inside the ship.

"X, Zero they took Axl." said Alia.

To be continued ......