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Post by Ztrl on Mar 25, 2006 23:39:27 GMT -5
to see a list of chuck norris' enemies...just check the extinct species list.
XD long necked armadillos XD
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Post by Tony on Mar 25, 2006 23:47:57 GMT -5
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the f*ck he wants.
Chuck Norris once survived a suicide bombing. He was the bomber.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.
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Post by Ztrl on Mar 25, 2006 23:59:10 GMT -5
OMG ROFLOPLMAO!
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swimstud600
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Post by swimstud600 on Mar 26, 2006 0:00:03 GMT -5
What he said. That just might be the largest amount of Chuck Norris jokes I've seen in one place.
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Post by Tony on Mar 26, 2006 0:04:25 GMT -5
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Post by Ztrl on Mar 26, 2006 0:09:05 GMT -5
ok i'm gonna go post a question in the pointless thread now
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swimstud600
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Post by swimstud600 on Mar 26, 2006 0:09:31 GMT -5
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Post by Ztrl on Mar 26, 2006 0:10:14 GMT -5
i love that joke
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swimstud600
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Post by swimstud600 on Mar 26, 2006 0:11:15 GMT -5
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Post by Ztrl on Mar 26, 2006 0:13:00 GMT -5
LOL
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Post by Tony on Mar 26, 2006 0:14:56 GMT -5
Chuck Norris once won the Gold, Silver and Bronze in the Women's Bobsled. No one ever questioned how he did it.
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Post by Ztrl on Mar 26, 2006 0:15:48 GMT -5
neither will i
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swimstud600
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Post by swimstud600 on Mar 26, 2006 0:20:03 GMT -5
Chuck Norris' sperm can penetrate 13 condoms, the birth control pill, a brick wall, and the 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line in order to impregnate a woman.
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.
Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.
Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
Switzerland isn't really neutral. They just haven't figured out what side Chuck Norris is on yet.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs.
Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck Norris.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' action figure has slept with more women then most men.
In order to survive a being on fire, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris always gets blackjack. Even when he's playing poker.
Contrary to popular belief, George Bush is a great speaker and rarely mispronounces words. He appears incompetent because he knows Chuck Norris is watching.
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not leave messages. Chuck Norris leaves warnings.
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Post by Tony on Mar 26, 2006 0:33:02 GMT -5
On the first day, God created Chuck Norris. On the second day, God created the roundhouse kick. On the third day, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked God out of heaven. God now works as a waiter in North Dakota.
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Post by Ztrl on Mar 26, 2006 1:24:28 GMT -5
XD
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